Regret

I know and I realize that I'm now in the situation where I supposed to be not regreting all what have done. I still have much people who love me sincerely. Mommy, Mbak Nina my lovely sister and her kids, My O who always keeps in love and caring of me and avails all my needs, Khansa, Dhea, Dinny, Nenden, Ruli, and my new kind  neighbors here. Beloved people, well fed, well living-house, well finance. All my needs are front of me. But.. But sometimes, everything feels so blur. I can't lying my self that I am so sad. I have made the biggest mistake in my life that I couldn't tell here.

Desperate. Pathetic. Aversion. Hate. Sad. Anger. Confution. Worry. Scared. Happy and many others. All that things are blending together, feel all parts in my soul. In my mind. Haunting my nights and days. Expel all composure and tranquillity. Make me so hard to breath.

Oh God I wanna cry. I wanna die. I hate my self. I hate an opportunity. I hate all things that supported me to do that f*ckin mistake. I've been following by the shadows of regret. And everytime I remember one piece of memories at my sweet home, it's so hard for me to breath. Instead it's worst that I could cry for hours.

I love my self, I love my life, I love all people who love me much. I just.. I just want to say "I'm sorry.. Forgive me please, all.. I'm sorry I can't be the one who makes you all proud. I can't be the one who can be told to your children and next generation as a good people. I'm sorry.."

                                                                                                             With love,
                                                                                                             Fikriya Umami

Stress 3

Yayyyy singing again!!!

 

My World Is Full With You - Popularized by Ten 2 Five

Sorry :(

Have you ever felt in aversion with your dear?? Or you ever felt that your dear is so irritated?
That's what I'm feeling right now. No truly reason that makes me so hating my O. It's weird. It's irrational.
No more talk, even just take a look to his face, it makes me irk. Moreover when he talks to me, I always answer him sharply. No friendly tone in my voice.

Hmm.. so sorry dear I've made you fell in the hole called confution just because all my bad deeds to you lately. All I need now is let me alone and let me get my 'me-time'.
I'll so grateful if you face me patiently and calmly.

Let me alone and enjoying my time.
Thanks dear :')

Stress 2

 

You (Popularized by Ten 2 Five)

Obsessed!

B ener-bener dah

L oh kok bisa-bisanya

A ku mimpiin hal itu lagi

C oba deh dipikir lagi

K enapa sih aku amat sangat terobsesi sekali sama..

B arang ituuuu...??!!

E tdah padahal kan sebelumnya aku sama sekali nggak suka sama dia

R empong banget deh kalo udah ngidam begini nih

R ibeeettt!!

Y a Allah.. mudah2an mimpi itu pertanda bahwa sebentar lagi barang itu ada di genggamanku.

AMIIIIIIIIIINNN!!!!

Oh God! I've never expected that one of my must-buy was taken along to my dream last Thursday night (sialan! makin kepengen gue).

You know what is the stuff that i dreamed??

A Lomo Camera Fisheye!!

NO

 

A New Macbook Pro!!

 No, definitely no. But sounds good to lock in it to my list heheh :P

Oke, LEGGING LORENG-LORENGNYA TRIO MACAN!!

 

Subhanallohwalhamdulillahwalaailaahailallahuallohukbar!! beli dimandos cyiiin?? eyke mau dongs 5..!!

Oke ga mungkin. Nyokap gue bisa sujud maut men kalo tau gue pergi2 pake ginian.

This is what i dreamed..

Would somebody buy me this one??

The black is not bad, instead it's more elegant

So, I dreamed that I had have BlackBerry Curve 8520, but I'm not sure what the color was. In my dream, I exchanged everything about my BB (oh God! why is it only dream?) with Mas Wahid, my neighbor and also I consider him as my brother. He is a kind person and has this BB Gemini. Although it was a nice dream but that night I slept restlessly. I always woke up frequently. But when I fell asleep again, the dream was keep continuing. And then, morning was calling. I woke up. I went to the bathroom and said,

"Oh God! WHY IS IT ONLY DREAM??"
Hahah :P

May some people think and say that I'm too over or I just want to be the followers who love BB. But I'm not. I just love it sincerely. I don't care even the other think so. I do not even care.
I only know that ..

I AM OBSESSED to have this stuff. And I know I will get it in my hand! Heheh :)

Wish me guyrls! :)